Author: Katie Mest

Back-to-School Tips for Parents: COVID-19 Edition

Katie Mest
By Katie Mest

Back-to-school season won’t have the same excitement this year for kids and teachers. On top of the normal craziness of a new school year, educators and parents are worrying about how to keep their kids safe if they have to sit in a classroom and learn with other children. Hopefully, our back-to-school tips will give you some ideas on how to do that.

My niece’s elementary school created a hybrid schedule to minimize unnecessary contact between students. The first half of the alphabet goes into school the first half of the week while the other half is remote. Then they swap for the second half of the week. But it turns out that many of her close friends fall into the opposite group as her. This year is going to be hard on kids in a lot of ways.

This is as new for them as it is for you, so I pulled advice from some resources to help you as your kids prepare to step back into the classroom.

Back to School in COVID-19 Times

Check in with Your Child Every Day

Regardless of whether or not your school requires it, take your kid’s temperature each morning when they get up. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and you would rather learn they’re sick yourself then getting a call later from a school nurse. Confirm with them that they know to tell you even if they feel only a little bit sick.

Designate a Spot for School Items

Back-to-school season usually stirs up a lot of germs that get brought into your house to begin with, but this year will be even worse. Find a spot in your house where your kid can leave their backpack, shoes, jacket, and lunchbox. A good place is typically right by the front door or garage door.

Sanitize as Soon as They Get Home

Once they leave their stuff at the door, get them in the habit of at least changing into new clothes and washing their hands. If they took any toys or devices to school, make sure those get wiped down before your kid uses them in the house. Same goes for you, parents, if you work around other people during the day.

Regularly Wash Cloth Masks

Don’t let a mask become one of those items that gets lost forever in your kid’s backpack. Create a consistent schedule for washing your kid’s masks. Make sure they have a few comfortable masks they can switch in and out when the others are getting washed. You may even want to put the entire household on the same mask-washing schedule to assure you’re all covered.

Create a Home School Area

If you haven’t already, you may want to have a specific place for your kid to go to do their homework and schoolwork. If they are doing all or some schooling during the day from home, this is essential. Kids have been stuck in their houses for months. It will be helpful for them to have certain places for focused work that is separate from the area in which they can play and have down time.

Going along with that, organize a schedule with them for homework time before they play. Especially if they didn’t have a lot of structure during out-of-school months (did any of us?), they will need help getting back into a routine.

Let Them Talk to Their Friends

I’m thinking about all the kids in a similar situation as my niece. They won’t get to see their buddies much, and socializing is an important part of childhood development. It might mean they’re on their devices a little more to video chat or message each other, but kids communicate differently than when you were a kid.

Take It Easy

On them. On yourself. On others. It’s going to be a big change for everyone.

Support Your Kid’s Teacher

Whether you send in some extra Lysol wipes and tissues or reach out personally, your kids’s teacher will appreciate the sentiment. Everyone is in this together.

Read More
Helping your kids cope with quarantine emotions
Great Ways to Learn During the Pandemic

U.S. Faces Possible TikTok Ban

By Katie Mest

A socially-distanced summer has left plenty of time for mindless activities on electronic devices. I used the time to re-watch “New Girl” on Netflix, and I just started watching “Avatar: The Last Airbender” at the recommendation of the Internet.

I also downloaded TikTok to see what all the fuss was about. Long story short: I like it a lot. However, this Chinese-owned social media app has taken a lot of heat lately.

India just banned 59 Chinese apps last week, including TikTok, due to security concerns related to geopolitics. You may know that recently Chinese and Indian militaries clashed at the border, leaving 20 Indian soldiers dead.

On Monday, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said the U.S. is considering banning TikTok as well as some other Chinese social media apps. This is designed to protect against threats to national security. The fear is that apps are mining data and Tik Tok might be pressured to give it to the Chinese government.

AA TikTok representative responded saying, “TikTok is led by an American CEO, with hundreds of employees and key leaders across safety, security, product, and public policy here in the U.S. We have never provided user data to the Chinese government, nor would we do so if asked.”

Why the fear? Why now?

U.S. lawmakers questioning TikTok’s safety is nothing new. The government opened a national security investigation into the app in November 2019.

This week TikTok is pulling its app off the market in Hong Kong in response to a new Chinese security law. Other tech companies, like Facebook, Twitter, and Google, have stopped processing Chinese government requests for regional user data.

This Hong Kong law was created to crack down on those protesting in opposition to Beijing. The law leaves room for lots of questions, like if Hong Kong will now fall under Beijing’s jurisdiction.

What does this all mean for users (i.e., your kid)?

We don’t know the answer to that yet.

TikTok certainly has taken over the world, and I wouldn’t want to be the one to break the news of the ban to the 65 million U.S. monthly app users. I would also miss my daily art and animal videos.

The biggest advice I can give to parents is to do your research.

Know the apps your kids are interacting with and inform them and yourself on the possible ways apps store and/or use your data. Read the different options each app has for privacy and take action. Turn some of the privacy features on.

I would also recommend ConnectSafely.org It provides a great guide for parents on navigating TikTok and keeping kids safe.

Other Great Links:

Video Games are Taking on Mental Health
Teens, the Current Smokeless Tobacco Scene, and maybe an Alternative

Are Hard Seltzers as Popular with Kids as Adults?

By Katie Mest

Hey, parents. Do you know the difference between La Croix and Truly? Between bubly and White Claw? Kirkland and BON V!V?

You’re going to want to learn which are alcoholic and which are not. We’ll give you that later.

Last year, hard seltzers brought in more than $500 million in sales and contributed to the decline of both beer and wine sales, according to Nielson.

Why are hard seltzers so popular right now?

Ok. So by now you know that the next big alcoholic drink with teenagers is the alcoholic seltzer. Why? First, they’re low in calories. White Claws and Trulys both have 100 calories per can. Beer ranges from about 50 calories to more than 300 with some heavier options like IPAs. Seltzers are all low calorie options and they are also low in sugar.

They’re also low in alcohol, typically between 4-6% alcohol by volume. And the alcohol in many of them is from fermented cane sugar, not liquor.

They’re the perfect alcoholic beverage for a hot summer day. I’d know. I’ve had them (I’m over 21), and they’re delicious.

Take it from a young person: hard seltzers are fun, and there are plenty of different flavors for everyone.

Some people like the idea that they can get drunk while also hydrating themselves. (Note: It doesn’t work like that. Alcohol dehydrates you – even with hard seltzers.) Others like that they can drink quite a few seltzers before getting full – which would happen much sooner if they were drinking beers. But does mean they can get drunker in a shorter amount of time, because they’ll just keep drinking.

Being packaged in cans is also a selling point. Seltzers, like beers, can be taken on the go. The wine industry saw this appeal and started canning some of its products for the convenience of the consumer.

Seltzers are also versatile drinks. People drink them on their own or use them as a mixer.

So there you have at least four different reasons why they’ve become so popular so quickly.

What are the popular hard seltzer brands?

  1. White Claw
  2. Truly
  3. Smirnoff Sparkling Seltzer
  4. Bon V!V (Bon & Viv)
  5. Henry’s Hard Sparkling Water

You should also know that beer brands like Natural Light and Bud Light have hopped on the seltzer train creating their own additions to the market. They will probably grab significant market share quickly, so this top five might change.

Familiarize yourself with these before your kids do.

If you have teenagers, you’re probably already thinking about the possibility of your underage kids drinking. Who would they drink with? What would they drink? Where would they get it?

The internet has tons of literature on that, so I’ll keep it short.

By age 15, about 29.8% of teens have had at least 1 drink, and by age 18, about 58% of teens have had at least 1 drink, according to the 2018 Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality National Survey on Drug Use and Health.

Whether you think your kid will drink or not, those are the numbers. And regardless of your personal course of action in handling that, you should at the very least be aware of the products they can be consuming.

I’ve seen stories on social media about parents who have mistaken alcoholic seltzer for normal seltzer. I’m trying to keep you from becoming one of those parents, especially if your kid is sneaky and might try to pull one over on you.

In short, stay up to date on the latest fun drinks your kids are getting their hands on! Educate your kids about the dangers of drinking, and keep an eye on what kind of can they actually have in their hand.

Links:

https://www.datafiles.samhsa.gov/study-dataset/national-survey-drug-use-and-health-2018-nsduh-2018-ds0001-nid18758

https://www.nielsen.com/us/en/insights/article/2019/how-ready-to-drink-beverages-and-packages-are-shaking-up-the-adult-beverage-market/

Parents: CDC Advice For Dealing with COVID-19

By Katie Mest

I don’t even have to ask at this point about your mental states, as the COVID-19 pandemic has shut down businesses, workplaces, and schools. Families who would normally see each other only a few hours in the mornings and evenings during a workday are now seeing each other 24/7.

Parents, we know you already have enough on your plate as it is. Maybe you’re working from home while also trying to occupy and teach your children. You have to worry about keeping yourself and your families safe, and you’re confronted with the thought of potentially getting sick every time you leave the house to go food shopping. It’s overwhelming and fear-inducing for everyone. Including your children.

Check for changes in your kid during this time, especially since their schedules have been wildly disrupted. They have no school, no daycare, no sports, no friend interaction outside of the internet. They just have you. And while they might be getting on your nerves now more than ever, there may be some underlying issues stemming from this whole experience.

The CDC suggests that some of what your child may be feeling could come from how you are reacting to the situation. Being “calm and confident” is the key here. (We know that’s far easier said than done.) Before checking in on your kids, ask yourself honestly how you’re doing.

Here are some signs the CDC says to look out for in children and teens:

  • Excessive crying or irritation in younger children
  • Returning to behaviors they have outgrown (for example, toileting accidents or bedwetting)
  • Excessive worry or sadness
  • Unhealthy eating or sleeping habits
  • Irritability and “acting out” behaviors in teens
  • Poor school performance or avoiding school
  • Difficulty with attention and concentration
  • Avoidance of activities enjoyed in the past
  • Unexplained headaches or body pain
  • Use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs

You might even be experiencing some of these yourself. I know I am.

Returning to my classes in an all-online format has not been easy. There are days each week when I struggle to find the motivation to accomplish even simple tasks. My brain is more scattered than ever. I rarely know what day of the week it is, let alone the date. And wine is a tempting treat to counteract the negativity and bad news around me. I get it.

We’re all in this together. Use this time of isolation to support and take care of those you’re now “stuck” with.

What can you do?

  1. Keep routines. The Child Mind Institute says this is the key. The biggest parts of your kids’ schedules have vanished completely. You can help your child through this transition by keeping certain routines in place. Create for them (or if they’re older, help them create) a schedule to follow each day that tells them when they can play, do schoolwork, exercise, etc. Make sure they’re realistic for what your kids can actually accomplish in a day, and factor in breaks from doing work.
  2. Make time for nonelectronic activities (like exercise). Let’s be real, we’re all spending our free time on our devices. Make sure your kids spend some time away from the screen every once in a while and engage in another activity. Try planning a family activity time where you can go for a walk, work on a puzzle, or do a craft together. That way you can get quality family time while also breaking up your days.
  3. Practice good media literacy with them. Especially now, make sure you’re consuming truthful, meaningful media. Certainly, stay up to date with the COVID-19 situation, but don’t let the news add to the anxiety you’re feeling. Similarly, reinforce that your kid (particularly older ones) can tell the difference between fake news and real news. And make sure they don’t spend their days worrying themselves by reading article after article about the coronavirus.
  4. Check-in with your kid. They may come out and tell you the different ways they feel negatively impacted by the pandemic. The Child Mind Institute says that kids throwing tantrums or being more defiant than usual may be experiencing anxiety, and they don’t know how to manage it. Talk through emotions, and you might be able to get to the root of the problem.  
  5. Keep them connected. They miss their friends as much as you miss yours. Allow them to message or video chat their friends because at this point in their lives (teens especially), their friends are one of the most important things in their lives. Remember that there are some issues in a kid’s life that require friends’ input, not necessarily parents’.

The most helpful thing you can do to help your child through this pandemic is to validate their feelings. I don’t know how to manage all the feelings I have about the coronavirus and its impact on the world, but it means a lot to have trusted adults in your life tell you that you’re not silly or childish for feeling this way.

We all feel a little helpless right now. Support your kids, and don’t forget to lean on others for support, too, if you need it.

Read More:

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

Supporting Kids During the Coronavirus Crisis
Supporting Teenagers and Young Adults During the Coronavirus Crisis

YouTube’s New Policy Regarding Your Kid’s Data

By Katie Mest

Your kids are all over YouTube. (But aren’t we all?)

We blog about how your kid might be using YouTube here, but there have been some recent changes in YouTube’s privacy policies and they impact your kids. Don’t worry, though. This time it’s actually good news.

Back in September, the video media giant got into hot water when regulators said it was collecting the personal information of children and using it to target them with ads. To settle the case with the FTC, YouTube’s parent company, Google, paid a $170 million fine ($136 million to the FTC and $34 million for violating the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) Rule.) This was the largest fine collected from the act since it came into existence.

 Enacted in 1998, COPPA prohibits online services doing certain things when the user is under 13 years of age. YouTube violated this by collecting data without the consent of the kids’ parents. YouTube also earned millions of dollars by mining this data and targeting ads toward those kids.

So What’s New?

(https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/06/technology/youtube-children-privacy.html)

YouTube tried to get around this by saying that users cannot be under 13 because in order to have an account, you must be 13 and over…probably to avoid this very occurrence. However, you and I both know that YouTube is where kids spend a lot of their time regardless of that requirement.

YouTube has changed its policies to follow COPPA guidelines and better protect your kid’s privacy.

  • YouTube will limit the collection of data from anyone watching videos directed toward children. It has also turned off some features from kid-directed channels. Comments, live chats, and saving videos to a playlist might be disabled depending on the content your child is watching.
  • Ads on these types of videos will be shown based on the content of the videos, not the web-browser and online data from the user watching. And if your kid is watching kid videos, they will more likely be recommended other kid videos.
  • Video producers posting on YouTube will now have to categorize their videos as specifically made for children. Doing so will help determine which videos to turn on data-collecting limitations. Officials also said they could override a producer’s decision if they feel it is incorrect. More info: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/9383587?hl=en.

That should make you feel a little safer for a while. It’s highly recommended that if your kid is under 13 they should use YouTube Kids for their content. It’s better regulated by age-appropriate content.

But if your kiddos are 13 and over…let’s just say you should start having conversations about what information they put on the Internet and how services use that information.

How Many Teens Are Using YouTube?

According to Forrester, 96% of teens online are using YouTube. It says 85% of boys ages 13-17 use YouTube daily, while 70% of girls ages 13-17 use it daily.

So, yeah, the short answer is that a lot of kids are using it. And they’ll be watching anything from sports to beauty to gaming to humor to cute puppy videos.

I guess what you should take from all of this is to remind your kids over and over (and over and over) that EVERYTHING they do on their devices has an impact. It’s no coincidence that that ad popped up on their feed after having a conversation about the product.  

More Links:

Shocking Vaping Stats to Know Going into 2020
How to monitor your kids online while preserving their privacy

Shocking Vaping Stats to Know Going into 2020

By Katie Mest

As we head into 2020, vapes are everywhere.

Your family members and friends might have already substituted their cigarettes for the latest in smoking technology. Instead of walking down the sidewalk and being hit in the face with a cloud of tobacco smell, you’re now greeted with scents like cotton candy or bubblegum.

Kids certainly seem to find vaping to be a preferred form of smoking. JUUL proved that. I’m sure you’ve encountered plenty of JUUL pods on the ground in lieu of cigarette butts.

And vaping is still on the rise. Here’s what you need to know about vaping as we head into a new year.

Vapes Make It Easier Than Ever For Your Kid To Smoke Marijuana

Picture this: A kid is sitting in the park with his friends smoking a cigarette. You and many others would pass by without giving it a second thought. It’s not necessarily an unusual occurrence.

Now, consider this: A kid and his friends are sitting in the park passing a joint between them. It’s far more obvious they’re smoking marijuana because of their behavior and the distinct smell. They’re more likely to get in trouble for this scenario either with their parents, the law, or both.

There’s a thin line between these two circumstances. Vapes can completely erase that line.

Regardless of the substance in the vape, odds are you’re going to smell something delightful, not tobacco or marijuana. Unless you get up close and personal with the cartridge in the vape, you’re not going to be able to tell what’s in it unless you’re super familiar with the substances and cartridge brands.

Not shockingly, kids are taking advantage of this.

Kids Are Vaping Marijuana (THC)

A survey from the University of Michigan (posted in the Journal of the American Medicine Association) found that 1 in 5 high school students have vaped marijuana in the past year.

While more kids are still vaping nicotine (1 in 4 said they had done it in the past year), the number of kids vaping marijuana has taken a huge leap from the previous year.

The survey showed that 1 in 7 kids are considered to be current users of marijuana vaping (meaning that they had vaped it sometime in the month before the survey), while the previous year showed only 1 in 13 were current users. Almost double the amount of kids are taking up marijuana (THC) vaping.

Vaping is making it easier than ever before to take up smoking marijuana. It’s convenient. It takes away some of the paranoia that you’re going to get caught since people near you can’t tell what substance is in the vape.

But black market THC cartridges aren’t just causing your kids to get high. They’re posing some serious health risks for users.

With Vaping-Related Hospitalizations Going Up, Officials Are Cracking Down

More than 2,400 people have been hospitalized for vaping-related lung illnesses since the beginning of the summer, and vitamin E acetate is to blame in most cases, according to the CDC.

Vitamin E acetate is used as a thickening agent in illicit THC vape cartridges. You can read more about it in this blog post.

The FDA and the DEA have since shut down 44 sites claiming to sell illegal cartridges. This Associated Press article names Stoners Marketplace and Anonymous Meds as two now-shutdown sites. Investigators were led to some of these sites through interviews with patients. Other websites were shut down because they were scam sites that took money without delivering products.

While studies show that high school kids are decreasing their average usage of alcohol and cigarettes, there has been a slight increase in daily marijuana usage overall and a concerningly large increase in marijuana vaping.

Public health officials are worried about this, and you should be, too.

Links:

https://apnews.com/fc4d6d53d0e722de5cb7be850743d138

https://apnews.com/91b897691ec0b201b912247fd573ff02

Danger of Vaping Vitamin E Acetate Appears to Be Real

Danger of Vaping Vitamin E Acetate Appears to Be Real

By Katie Mest

Chances are you’ve already seen your local news outlets covering a large number of people ending up in the hospital because of vaping.

Vaping consists of the user inhaling and exhaling “vapor,” which is actually aerosol, as well as substances like nicotine, according to the Center on Addiction. Vaping is your kid’s generation’s version of experimenting with cigarettes. It seems to them like a lot of people are doing it, but like smoking cigarettes, it can be harmful to their well-being.

How would you know if your kid is vaping? The American Lung Association says nosebleeds and increased thirst are two signs your child might be vaping.

Some other symptoms you should look for in your child if you suspect they are vaping: (from USA Today and the CDC)
  • Frequently leaving groups to go to a certain place (outside or the bathroom) to vape
  • Irritability
  • Coughing
  • Shortness of breath
  • Increasing intolerance to exercise

If you want to learn more about vaping, the American Lung Association website has guides for learning about and talking to your kid about vaping.

What else is in your child’s vape?

In addition to nicotine, kids might also be vaping THC (tetrahydrocannabinol), the chemical in marijuana that causes you to get high. Kids can just as easily put a THC cartridge in the same vape they would use for nicotine. (You can read more about THC here.)

Marijuana is recreationally legal in only a few states, but that doesn’t mean these cartridges are difficult to get in a state where it’s illegal. Odds are your kid knows someone who knows someone who has access to marijuana or THC cartridges.

Whether you’re for or against vaping, the most pressing issue is: some people are ending up in the hospital after using these products.

The CDC has named Vitamin E acetate as a “chemical of concern” in vaping products related to the recent string of deaths. It is used as an additive and a thickening agent in some black market THC products. Vitamin E acetate is usually harmless in the form of a supplement or when it is applied to the skin, according to the CDC, but when it is inhaled, it can disrupt lung function.  

As of Nov. 13, about 2,200 cases of e-cigarette or vaping product use associated lung injuries (EVALI) have been reported, including all states besides Alaska and including Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands (source: CDC). The ages of the patients ranged from 17 to 79 with a median age of 52, so young smokers are not the only ones being affected.

The CDC documented symptoms that these EVALI patients came in with, many of which are similar to flu symptoms.

Here are symptoms you should be aware of, so you know when to ask for help (pulled from the charts of 339 EVALI patients):
  • Respiratory: cough, chest pain, shortness of breath
  • Gastrointestinal: abdominal pain, nausea and/or vomiting, diarrhea
  • Fever, chills, weight loss

If you find a vape, how do you know if it’s nicotine or THC?

The look of vapes can vary, so it can be difficult to tell if your teen is vaping nicotine or THC. A USA Today article said narrower cylinder vials are more likely to contain THC, while wider and larger ones generally have nicotine. THC oil is thick and wouldn’t seem to move in the cartridge if turned upside down. Nicotine would move more easily. You can purchase home drug tests for the vials, but they will tell you only the contents, not the percentage of substance. Some THC cartridges have been found to have as much as 80% pure THC. For reference, the joints from the 1960’s had about 1-2% THC.

How will you know if the cartridge your kid has is one of the bad ones?

The CDC is working on that. A cartridge with Vitamin E acetate is a cartridge that has been tainted.

When people buy cartridges from someone other than a dispensary, they don’t know what they’re getting. They won’t know what’s been added. Keep in mind, a few states have allowed full legalization of marijuana, so the market for cheap goods is in high demand. And that’s where problems come in.

Dealers on the street aren’t reliable. They can’t always get users exactly what they asked for. Also, some cartridges will have additives to make them last longer – like the Vitamin E acetate – and some might even have other unknown substances. They might seem cheap, especially to young people, especially in comparison to legal products that can only be used in certain states by those age 21 and up, but at what cost?

Numerous newspapers have reported that health officials have found Vitamin E acetate in some products by Dank Vapes, TKO, Off White, Moon Rocks, Chronic Carts and West Coast Carts. This doesn’t mean every cartridge by these brands will have the chemical, but of those cartridges associated with EVALI patients, these brands came up.

Here’s how you can spot a fake vape cartridge.

If your child starts to experience any symptoms related to EVALI, bring them to the doctor, along with the vape.

The CDC warned that other chemicals could be contributing to this outbreak, but for right now, Vitamin E acetate is the only known culprit.

Want to learn more?

https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/vaping-illness-update-fda-warns-public-stop-using-tetrahydrocannabinol-thc-containing-vaping

https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/basic_information/e-cigarettes/severe-lung-disease.html

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/10/01/tips-parents-stop-teens-vaping-illness-thc/2429184001/

https://www.leafly.com/news/health/vape-pen-lung-disease-advice-consumers

Teasing your kids at home might turn them into bullies says this study

By Katie Mest

The problem of bullying in schools stretches across generations, and though there are new media through which kids can now bully their peers, bullying itself is nothing new.

A study from Florida Atlantic University suggests that how parents interact with their child at home might have a lot to do with the way their child then treats their classmates. You probably know that mean parents lead to mean kids, but just how mean do they have to be to make an impact?

This study says it can be as small as just belittling or not praising your kid.

We know parenting isn’t easy. That’s why we’ve built this blog about how your kid’s world is different from the one you grew up in. But this study says to take a hard look at how you’re interacting with your child. Are you telling them you’re proud of them even for small accomplishments? Do you zone out when they’re talking about their interests, or are you actively listening?

If they feel frustrated by some of their interactions at home, they might go to school and take it out on other students since they can’t say anything to you. How bad is bullying in today’s schools?

National Statistics on Bullying

  • About 20% percent of kids aged 12-18 report that they have experienced bullying, according to the 2017 School Crime Supplement from the National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice (https://nces.ed.gov/programs/crimeindicators/ind_10.asp).
  • 70.6% of kids say they’ve seen bullying in their schools, and 70.4% of school staff say they’ve witnessed bullying. Note, 62% of school staff say they witnessed bullying two or more times in the month prior to the survey, and 41% say they witnessed bullying every week.
  • Middle school students report they’ve been bullied a variety of ways, including name-calling (44.2 %), teasing (43.3 %), spreading rumors or lies (36.3%), pushing or shoving (32.4%), hitting, slapping, or kicking (29.2%), being left out (28.5%), threatened (27.4%), stolen belongings (27.3%), sexual comments or gestures (23.7%), targeted in e-mail or blog (9.9%).

Name-calling and teasing are the most common. Maybe not surprising, these are also two of the types of bullying that can occur at home.

Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to tease your own kid. Maybe it feels like you’re teasing yourself. You probably share characteristics. Do you feel like you’re too short, have big ears, or can’t do math? Maybe you’re just repeating what you’ve heard before.

Or maybe you think your comments are harmless, but your kid sees them as serious: “You missed a couple goals today in the game. Maybe we should be paying more attention at practice instead of talking with our friends the whole time.” Or “You spend a lot of time in your room. Try socializing with the rest of the family every once in a while.”

Each kid is different, and just because they came from you doesn’t mean they think exactly like you. Heck, they’re not even your age. If you’re going to poke fun at them (every great once in a while), make sure it’s lighthearted and not hurtful. Watch their reaction. Make it obvious you don’t mind if they tease you back. There is a fine line between mutual teasing and one-sided, being-picked-on.

Regrettably, the study suggests if kids are teased daily, they transfer that behavior into other areas of their lives. If it’s acceptable at home, then it’s acceptable at school or practice, right?

And I have to point out: kids can’t lash out at their parents every time they feel they’ve been insulted or belittled.  It’s obviously easier to take it out on kids their own age.

I don’t know a clear path to stopping bullying but understanding some of the risk factors that go into it must help. If parents are name-calling and teasing their kids, and these are the number one and number two most frequent ways kids are getting bullied at school…?  There has to be a connection.  

I suggest talking to your kids the same way you want them talking to their peers. Ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say going to make the other person feel bad? If my parent said this to me when I was a kid, would I be hurt?

And ask them for feedback. Let them know that they can tell you if you’ve gone too far. Did they take that as the joke you intended, or did you offend them. Meanwhile, tell them if they’ve gone too far. You’re training them in conversation and human relations. Make sure they know how to communicate effectively – and nicely.  

Links:

https://nces.ed.gov/programs/crimeindicators/ind_10.asp

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/07/190709110230.htm

Cyberbullying or Cyberbullied? (Both are bad…)
Two Very Popular Apps Your Kid Might Have Going Back to School

Helping Your Kids with Negative Emotions

By Katie Mest

Parents, I’ll be honest with you. There have been quite a few times I’ve had to lock myself away in my room or run to the bathroom at school to cry out a problem.

Most of the time, the problem itself wasn’t a big deal. But small issues pile up until sometimes you feel an overwhelming wave of emotions crashing down on you.

Often I’ll have a week in which this seems to happen every other day.

And that worries me.

I’m aware of the current statistics of mental health-related issues in people my age. It’s not uncommon to come across a friend who’s in therapy (or should be) for depression or anxiety.

Every time I get to a place where I feel I might be getting into the “I need more help than just myself” territory, I take a step back and evaluate where I am, the severity of my problems, and how I can stop the panic mode.

I know I’m not the only one with that self-awareness. So that leads me to the latest news regarding your teen and their mental health.

Examine negative emotions

A new study from the University of Rochester (June 2019) shows that kids who are able to describe their negative emotions have a better chance of warding off depression than those who struggle with verbalizing their feelings. (Depression in this case can mean depression-like symptoms after a stressful event or actual clinical depression later in life.)

Science Daily interviewed the lead author of the study, who said that thinking through your emotions can help you develop a plan to then overcome those emotions.

What this means is that communicating with your teen is key to their mental health. Not only will you have a better understanding of what’s going on in your child’s head, but you can actually help them be more mindful of their own thoughts and feelings.

Find the source of stress

Midterm exams. A big game. A rocky relationship. Friend drama. The list can go on and on.

The trick is finding the source of the negative emotions and dissecting how and why it made your kid feel bad.

Is she upset that her friend ignored her one text, or does she think that she and her friend are drifting apart? Is your son angry that he missed a goal that could’ve won the game, or is he feeling a lot of pressure to perform well on the field because his grades are slipping?

Is it overthinking? Are the negative emotions valid? Do they have too much on their plate?

Make “talking it out” a normal part of the process

 Think of how much time you could save yourself if you analyzed every situation that stressed you out. You’d be golden.

It’s not an easily attainable goal, but it’s one we should all strive to have.

I’ve designated my mom as my go-to person for emotional issues. Sometimes she gets a very detailed text listing all the bad things that happened in my day that led to the bad mood I was in while writing the text. Sometimes I just share with her that I decided to skip coffee that morning because I knew I would have a busy morning and caffeine would only heighten my anxiety.

She sits on the phone with me when I need to talk out my problems out loud. She gives me advice to lessen my stress factors. And sometimes all I need is validation that the emotions I’m feeling about a situation aren’t completely moronic and childish.

What if you and your teen don’t have the kind of relationship in which you have heart-to-hearts every other day?

Offer anyway. It will always be in the back of their mind that mom or dad is there if they really need help.

Also, share your own experiences. It makes you relatable. Your kid can think of you more as a peer instead of an authority figure and in turn might be more open to opening up.

Encourage them to find their go-to person. If you know in your heart that there’s no way your teen is going to come to you with something like this, suggest that they consult with a good friend whenever they get stressed or overwhelmed.

Useful Links:

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190628120447.htm

https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2019-35689-001

Stressed and Depressed: Checking In On Your Child

Are Instagram “influencers” influencing your kid

By Katie Mest

We’ve already taught you what an influencer is (https://www.decodingtodaysyouth.com/what-is-an-influencer-and-whats-it-got-to-do-with-your-tween/). Influencers are either celebrities or ordinary people who are paid by a company to promote its products on social media.

Maybe what you don’t know are all the harmful products and practices that are popping up on your teen’s social media timeline as a result.

The big player in this game is Instagram. It works well for the influencers (and companies) because of its flashy pictures and cleverly worded captions. It screams “if you use this product, you too can have an Instagram profile as flashy or a body as perfect” as this person.

Well, Instagram recently released some news. And this going to 100 percent affect your kids.

 Soon you and your kids will see more influencers that you aren’t even following. That’s because soon brands will be allowed to promote their influencers’ posts and project them onto the screens of the young and impressionable.

 In a way, this is nothing new. Instagram already has sponsored posts that show up on your feed in between pictures of your friend’s cat and your coworker’s beach vacation. But now these will be labeled “paid partnership.”

Hey, we know you’re already worried about the kind of material your kid/pre-teen is taking in when they spend hours upon hours in front of their cell phones. So here’s a quick list of some products and ideas that have shown up on your kid’s timeline because of influencers.

Flat Tummy Tea

As the name suggests, this company wants you to believe that by drinking this tea, you will lose weight quickly and easily. A few of the Kardashians have come under fire lately for promoting this product. The company sells lollipops, shakes, and supplements as well as tea.

At this point, many experienced social media users know that Flat Tummy Tea is not only not effective, but it’s dangerous and unhealthy, but these are high school and college students. Younger kids may not be up on this kind of promotion. I think the products either “curb hunger” or “help with digestion,” which means to me maybe they make you sick.

Many influencers don’t actually try the product. They just post a picture with a caption that the company told them to include. Read more about Flat Tummy Tea’s Instagram empire here.

See also: any product that claims to be healthy while making you cut weight crazy fast.

YouTuber Logan Paul visiting a Japanese suicide forest

Yes, you read that correctly. Logan Paul posted a YouTube video of himself in the Aokigahara. This is a forest in Japan where many people go to take their lives. Regretably, he showed a body he had come across while filming.

To make matters worse, he kept the same attitude of his other videos and made jokes along the way. If you want to read more about it: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2018/01/02/youtuber-logan-paul-apologizes-for-showing-body-in-japans-suicide-forest/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.b3cd12d5162e.

Using natural disasters to gain or keep attention

When wildfires broke out in California, many influencers took to social media to send “thoughts and prayers” to those affected.

While the captions might have matched the situation, some of the photographs definitely didn’t, such as selfies or perfectly posed, professional photographer pictures. It was a way for the influencers to stay on top of a trending topic while also gaining likes from being “sympathetic.”

So what can you do?

  1. Research. If your teen wants to buy something that they saw promoted on social media, do your own investigation before purchasing. Look up reviews. If it’s something that will be ingested, like a supplement or diet tea, check the ingredients and find out what’s really in it. Also, look for any possible side effects.
  2. Talk. Ask your kid what kinds of things they’re seeing on social media. How do they feel about them? Do they think the influencer actually uses the product or just gets paid to post about it? Open up the conversation so they know that those influencer reviews aren’t always truthful or thorough.
  3. Be present on social media. Not in a snooping way. But it won’t hurt to make your own account just so you know what’s going on in that social media universe. Follow news stations. Follow celebrities. Get a glimpse of what your teen is seeing on their screen.

Here are more helpful links:

What is an “influencer”? And what’s it got to do with your tween?
Is Your Tween Spending Too Much Time On YouTube?
Can the Internet be a Positive Thing for Your Tween?