First, THANK YOU to everyone who has been reading our blog. Our statistics say we’ve been visited over 45,000 times! That’s fantastic. We’re very grateful that you decided to spend some of your valuable time with us.
But it’s the end of the semester for us, and all of my students are graduating or leaving for their summer job. So we’re going to take a little break this summer and hopefully come back strong in the fall.
If you’ve enjoyed our content, please let us know. And if you have any ideas or topics you think we should cover, feel free to reach out to me.
Video games have been talked about in a negative light for many years. Violent games’ effect on children have been studied countless times.
But does it mean your children should not play any video games? The answer is no, and here is why.
Parents should consider what the game is about before determining whether it is fit for their child to play. There are games that help teach children valuable lessons in life. These games include: LEGO games, “Plants vs. Zombies” and the “Mario” franchise.
All of them teach lessons like how to overcome challenges and strategy. Take for example the LEGO games.
These have collectables that are scattered throughout the game. The player must complete puzzles in order to collect them. It teaches children to think of many possibilities to figure out how to move an object like a box from one side to the other.
“Plants vs. Zombies” and Mario teach strategies that are used to defeat enemies. The former even teaches the player how to reasonably spend money. These are not strategies that could only be used in the game but also in the real world.
The University of Oxford recently released a study on how video games could be good for mental health. They teamed up with Electronic Arts (EA) to see how children felt after playing “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” and “Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville.”
They discovered, “If players experienced intrinsic motivations and need satisfaction during play, we would expect a more positive relationship between play time and wellbeing compared to players who experienced less intrinsic motivation and need satisfaction during play.”
This means that children felt more positive and relaxed after playing when they were not forced to play. The university said they will continue to perform more studies in the future.
These studies were not done with graphic or violent games. “Animal Crossing: New Horizons” is rated for “E” for everyone, and “Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville” is rated for everyone 10 and up. They are both for children and could be enjoyed by the whole family.
At the end of the day, your child should not play a really huge number of hours on any video game. But some research suggests allowing them to play a couple of hours on the weekend could improve their mental health. It may also help teach those life lessons as I spoke of earlier.
Always remember to look at the label before buying a game. There are always video game reviews on the Internet, if you are not sure. Be safe and happy gaming.
When I was in grade school, my mom would only allow me to watch three half-hour episodes of television after school.
Growing up, I only had access to the television and later on, the computer. Smartphones and tablets emerged as I was halfway through middle school. Today, kids not only have the distraction of television but also laptops, smartphones, tablets and more.
Many parents believe that by restricting their child’s usage of technology, they are preventing a future addiction to technology. However, a study done by the University of Colorado Boulder, suggests that technology restrictions on kids has minimal effect on their technology usage later in life.
Lead author Stefanie Mollborn, a professor of sociology at the Institute of Behavioral Science, said that their study just doesn’t show what most people might expect.
“We found that there is only a weak relationship between early technology use and later technology use, and what we do as parents matters less than most of us believe it will,” said Mollborn.
The study was done using a survey completed by 1,200 young adults and is the first of its kind to analyze the evolution of technology usage from childhood into adulthood.
The study was completed before the emergence of the coronavirus pandemic, which has drastically increased the usage of technology in both children and adults. The virus has made it even more difficult to limit children’s exposure to technology.
The study shows suggests that setting technology limits on children, whether it be limiting computer usage after school to saying “no” to television during meals, did not effect how often the subjects used social media as adults. Two factors that did increase technology usage included young adults who are in college and ones who are single and whose friends are single.
Mollborn said that college students believe they use technology more because they have to and that these students believe they have it under control. They believe that in the future they will no longer feel the need to use it as much.
While there is a “weak relationship” between parental technology restrictions and technology addiction in adulthood, that doesn’t mean parents should stop enforcing limits on their child’s technology usage. Other researchers believe parents should still encourage their children to refrain from excessive technology usage.
According to social psychologist Adam Alter, author of “Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked,” children should have a healthy, balanced relationship with technology.
Alter said that kids should have a balance in their amount of tech usage and screen time with physical activity and social interactions, just like they have a balanced diet of healthy foods.
“Among Us” has officially become the game of the fall season. The game has been around since 2018 but has suddenly taken off with kids and young adults.
The graphics in “Among Us” have a cartoon feel and are more catered to older teens and young adults. Its jump in popularity is partly because it is free on mobile devices and tablets.
The game is simple. Video gamers are put in lobbies consisting of 10 or fewer online players. At least one person at the start of each game is deemed the imposter. The rest of the players are crewmates.
Goals of the game are different depending on your role. The imposter’s job is to eliminate the crewmates, while making sure they do not get caught and voted out. The crewmates’ jobs are to complete a variety of different tasks and determine who is the imposter. Players move a 3D building and don’t see each other when they are out of sight.
Tasks are different each game. They might be connecting the colored wires, clicking one to 10 or a Simon says style minigame.
Although it has a cartoon style, it does get violent when the imposter eliminates crewmates. The animations range from a gunshot to the head to a spear through the head. All of these are violent. This leaves the remains of the character without the top half of their body.
The crewmates must find the body and report it, or if someone is acting suspicious, hit the red button. Everyone must work together and vote someone out.
I’ve played the game many times and I would say this mobile game is not for early teens and younger children. The game feels and looks innocent until the eliminations (bloody deaths). If your teen wants to play it, ask them to let you watch their first game. Then you can determine together if it is appropriate. Remember, the super-violent part doesn’t happen until character gets killed or witnesses a character get killed.
Overall, “Among Us” isn’t a bad game. Lots of my twenty-something-yr-old friends are playing and enjoying it. It teaches you to think of different strategies and has a psychological/manipulative component that is not in a lot of point-and-shoot games. no That makes it a nice change of pace after maybe playing the same games in lockdown for the past half year.
As always, if your kid is a pre-teen or younger, remember – you’re in charge.
Every time I log onto Facebook, I see the daily update my cousin posts about her son.
Parenting has changed drastically since the rise of social media. Today, parents are exposing every detail of their child’s lives. Whether it’s their first steps or their most recent report card, parents are sharing everything with the world.
Instead of enjoying the moment with their children, parents are now pausing to ask themselves “Is this something I want to take a picture of and share?” Then they are grabbing their phones to document the event. This causes them to miss the interaction “in the moment”. They should be having this special time with their kids. They should be enjoying the moment, not documenting it.
Parents also no longer have to go to their kid’s school function or run into another parent to hear all about how their kids got into an honors program or made the varsity soccer team. All this information is now posted on feeds and timelines on various apps.
According to a journal article in “Psychology of Popular Media,” what often happens is that parents compare their own parenting success to other parents through social media. Their own success and failure are now based on how successful they perceive other families are through social media.
Recently, the Pew Research Center performed a study which found that two-thirds of parents in the United States feel that parenting is harder today than it was 20 years ago. Many in the group also cited the reasons for this include new technologies, such as social media and smartphones.
68% of parents said they sometimes feel distracted by their phones when spending time with their kids. Younger parents (ages 18 to 49) were more likely to be distracted by smartphones and social media than older parents (50 and older).
Social media has also turned many parents into “oversharers”. Like my cousin, they post about their child far too often for many people’s liking. According to a poll done by The University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, 75% of parents believe other parents overshare.
There are ways to try to avoid oversharing or from being affected by others’ oversharing. An experiment done in 2016 reported that people who quit Facebook were happier.
While not everyone may want to quit Facebook entirely, reducing the time you spend on social media will reduce your stress levels that are a result of comparing your parenting to others. By setting limits for yourself, like staying off social media when you’re with your kids or before bed, you’ll be less likely to start comparing yourself to others.
Seeing other parents oversharing may make you want to as well, but before you do, make sure you’re posting for the right reasons. Are you posting because you ae truly proud of your child’s accomplishments or because you want to show the other parents on social media that your kid is just as smart or talented as theirs?
When schools abruptly closed in April 2020, and students got two extra months of summer, they never thought returning to school like normal wouldn’t be an option for this fall. Now that school has started this year for your children, let’s check in.
The CDC stressed opening schools quickly and safely this fall for students. However, schools were to make the best decision possible for their students and community when deciding the route for reopening. My sister’s school provided families with multiple different options: all in-person, all remote via the school, or all remote via an outside source. Regardless of your decision, we’d like to help your kids navigate this weird ‘new normal.’
Offer Reassurance and Help
Even if they don’t seem like it, your children actually listen to your advice. If they are stuck on a project and can’t think of ideas, help them! Throw out suggestions and ideas, and just maybe one will stick. Often I find myself texting my mom for ideas and suggestions for papers because I can’t think of anything. Also, keep tabs on their school district’s policies about COVID-19 and everyday maintenance. Sign up for district emails/newsletters, teacher policy updates, and more. The more you know to help your kids, the better.
Find the Good in Each Day
Celebrate little things! Every day after school, especially this year, your child is going to come home (or leave the computer screen) physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I know I walk away from my computer screen drained every day. It is highly important to find the good in every day. Did your child pass their history test? Make their favorite dinner! Did they attend every online class on time today? Give your child a hug and tell them you are proud. Trust me when I say they need to hear it more than you think.
Talk About Mental Health
Self-care is always important, but even more so right now. Be open with your kids about mental health and how to approach these feelings. The best thing a parent can do when their child expresses feelings of anxiety, depression, stress, or anything else, is to love them and get help when necessary. Helping your children keep a steady sleep and eating schedule and getting regular exercise can help to boost mood as well. And have discussions with others about the signs you need to look for so you know when to get professional mental health help.
Remind Your Kids that Feelings are Valid
Emotions are running at high speed this year for everyone. Remind your children that their frustration over the absence of extracurricular activities is okay. It’s okay to be upset and frustrated that school dances aren’t happening. It’s understandable to be angry that you can’t go watch your friends play soccer or football. They are allowed to have feelings and express them to you. When the “storm” has passed, it will be okay to go back to regular activities. But meltdowns may happen. Just be there.
Keep Learning
Probably the best thing to do is just keep learning. Parenting is one of the world’s most difficult jobs. But as Dr. Lauber has always told us, it’s also the toughest job you’ll ever love. Check out our links below.
A socially-distanced summer has left plenty of time for mindless activities on electronic devices. I used the time to re-watch “New Girl” on Netflix, and I just started watching “Avatar: The Last Airbender” at the recommendation of the Internet.
I also downloaded TikTok to see what all the fuss was about. Long story short: I like it a lot. However, this Chinese-owned social media app has taken a lot of heat lately.
India just banned 59 Chinese apps last week, including TikTok, due to security concerns related to geopolitics. You may know that recently Chinese and Indian militaries clashed at the border, leaving 20 Indian soldiers dead.
On Monday, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said the U.S. is considering banning TikTok as well as some other Chinese social media apps. This is designed to protect against threats to national security. The fear is that apps are mining data and Tik Tok might be pressured to give it to the Chinese government.
AA TikTok representative responded saying, “TikTok is led by an American CEO, with hundreds of employees and key leaders across safety, security, product, and public policy here in the U.S. We have never provided user data to the Chinese government, nor would we do so if asked.”
Why the fear? Why now?
U.S. lawmakers questioning TikTok’s safety is nothing new. The government opened a national security investigation into the app in November 2019.
This Hong Kong law was created to crack down on those protesting in opposition to Beijing. The law leaves room for lots of questions, like if Hong Kong will now fall under Beijing’s jurisdiction.
What does this all mean for users (i.e., your kid)?
We don’t know the answer to that yet.
TikTok certainly has taken over the world, and I wouldn’t want to be the one to break the news of the ban to the 65 million U.S. monthly app users. I would also miss my daily art and animal videos.
The biggest advice I can give to parents is to do your research.
Know the apps your kids are interacting with and inform them and yourself on the possible ways apps store and/or use your data. Read the different options each app has for privacy and take action. Turn some of the privacy features on.
I would also recommend ConnectSafely.org It provides a great guide for parents on navigating TikTok and keeping kids safe.
It is a confusing and strange time we find ourselves
in. COVID-19 has essentially put a pause on all of our regular activities and
pastimes, pushing everyone to use the internet. Whether it’s using Zoom everyday
like us college kids or binge-watching shows on Netflix, everyone is using the
internet for something. However, the most significant users of internet
bandwidth at the moment are gamers, and that could be a concern for parents.
With millions of kids staying at home with no clear
indication of when they will return to in-person classes, many parents are
struggling to keep their kids from playing games all day, every day during this
crisis. Gaming addiction, which has been recently confirmed as a mental
disorder by the DSM-5, has been the subject of extensive discussions by those
in both the medical field and the gaming industry. We all know it is essential that
kids and teens take adequate breaks when playing games. But it’s also essential
to look for signs of dependence on video gaming, as opposed to real-world
relationships or interactions.
A recent article from the Bloomberg news service warns
people about the uptick in gaming addiction. Experts say every risk factor for gaming
addiction is on the rise. And many call-in centers have seen a rise in calls,
including an increase in gaming addiction patients by psychiatrists. It’s
created a real problem for health officials, but right now, combating COVID-19
is the bigger issue. But many expect a big wave in gaming addiction as this
carries on.
The American Addictions Centers website lists a set of
behaviors to be on the lookout for if you are concerned about gaming addiction.
They include:
Poor performance in school, work, and other responsibilities.
Neglect of other hobbies or friendships
Ignoring basic hygiene
Irritable mood when not playing or forced to stop
Playing games with increased intensity or length to reach enjoyment
Symptoms of withdrawal when the game is removed; sleeplessness, loss of appetite, emotional
I offer these up as helpful suggestions to all of you
parents out there. But, honestly, I don’t think gaming is as addicting as
people make it out to be. When I play, I do find it hard to break away from at
times, but only because I’m so engaged in what I’m. But I think gaming is a
great pastime. There are countless games and storylines to play through. For
many, gaming acts as a way to escape. Whether winning a battle royale or
goofing around online with some friends, gaming can be useful in a variety of ways.
For your children, I think they act as something to
focus on while they’re sitting around the house. That’s not to say they should
sit in bed and play games all day. But gaming can be mentally stimulating. The “Independent,”
a British newspaper, recently cited a study of 1,000 gamers. It showed that most people who play games report
they feel gaming helps them relieve stress, make friends, and help them have a
feeling of accomplishment.
Now, you can argue that relationships made in games or
online cannot rival the ones made outside. However, connecting with friends, whether
indoors or outside, is still engagement. It still allows one to have a sense of
social interactivity.
Given the circumstances that COVID-19 has placed under,
I feel that having a connection with friends online through gaming is a benefit
and not a detriment.
But – do be careful. If the medical community it
right, some will fall victim to the disorder of gaming addiction. You do want
to keep your kid safe.
Hey parents. As if you’re job of
monitoring and limiting screen time wasn’t hard enough, it just got a whole lot
tougher with 42 states closing K-12 schools in response to COVID-19.
We here at 2020 Parenting will
leave it up to you how much screen time is right for your kid in these
unprecedented times. But maybe we can help you make that screen time more
beneficial to them.
Today we’re going to look at five applications
that can help your kid make the most of their screen time.
Marco Polo (Available
on iTunes & Google Play Store)
One of the most difficult things about social distancing is not getting to see family and friends. “Marco Polo” is an app that helps keep family and friend groups close, no matter how different their lives and schedules may be.
The app combines elements of texting, social media & video chat. Groups communicate by sending videos & photos to the group. The beauty of Marco Polo is that, though the videos and images stay in the group, they can be watched and responded to whenever it’s convenient.
Overall, “Marco Polo” is user friendly and can help your kid, you and your entire family stay in touch and keep morale high during these uncertain times.
Here’s what one mom had to say about it:
“Scrabble Go” or “Words
with Friends 2” (Available on iTunes & Google Play Store)
Since we really don’t know when schools will open again, this could be a perfect time to have them brush up on their vocabulary.
“Scrabble Go” is the mobile version of the classic board game. It has the same feel as the game you knew from childhood. You can play online with friends or against the computer. There are also some new game modes like “Word Drop,” “Tumbler” and “Rush” that offer a refreshing twist to classic Scrabble.
For more competitive players, there are even leagues and tournaments to take someone’s game to the next level.
“Words with Friends 2” is a newer and trendier take on “Scrabble.” It focuses almost as much on socializing as on word crafting. The game is not overly time-consuming, but I think it is thought-provoking.
Either one allows you to download the game yourself and show them who’s boss.
“Duolingo” (Available
on iTunes & Google Play Store)
What could be better than a kid using their screen time to expand their knowledge of the English language? How about learning another language.
I present “DuoLingo” – an iTunes’ Editor’s Choice that specializes in teaching anyone a new language in only 10 minutes per day.
“Duolingo” allows users to study any of 30 different languages. Users can select how intense they want the learning – or how relaxed. It also offers a placement test for those who have some experience in a language.
It has daily notifications to
remind users to do their “Duolingo” for the day. The free version is excellent,
but for about $64.00 a year, you can upgrade to the “Pro” version and get rid
of the ads and get access to advanced features. By the way, did I mention it is
probably the largest, most-downloaded language learning app in the world? It’s
a no brainer.
“Driving Academy 2020
Car Simulator” (Available on iTunes & Google Play Store)
One day, when your kid turns 16 and
the DMV returns to business, they’ll want to get behind the wheel. Well, why
not begin their driver education from the comfort of your own living room with
“Driving Academy 2020 Car Simulator?”
It seems like a pretty sharp
looking app to me. It puts teens behind a virtual wheel to help them master
parking and driving skills. But don’t worry – this isn’t another “Grand Theft
Auto” game. The simulator challenges
drivers to follow real road signs and the rules of the road.
The game has 250 levels, more than
135 different cars to choose from, and even a night driving mode.
“Garage Band”
(Available on iTunes)
The classic Mac app, “Garage Band,”
is now a popular app on most iPhones. Most likely it’s already installed on
your IOS device. I think Garage Band has the potential to unlock a whole new
side of your kid.
Although the app does have a slight
learning curve, once your kid understands how to make different tracks and
loops they can really start making music. It even allows them to use several different
instruments, including a guitar, bass, piano and more.
If they don’t know how to play any
of these instruments, “Garage Band” has a smart version of each instrument,
making it easy to create great music.
Garage Band also has a Sound
Library which allows them to pull in third-party loops and soundtracks. And of
course, they can record their voice or other audio. When they eventually have some
tracks and loops created, they can throw them in the app’s editing bay and
create their own amazing content.
Whether it’s just making some
sample music or an entire podcast, these are real skills that could be used
down the road, especially in the media industry.
Again, as parents, you’re going to
have some really tough decisions to make when it comes to your kid’s screen time
over the next few months. My thought is if they’re going to have it, they might
as well use some it to their advantage.
TikTok, one of the most popular content-creating apps children and teens use today, is full of security concerns that parents may not be aware of.
According to Australian ‘Cyber Cop’ Susan McLean, the app has been known to fail to remove suspicious accounts, even after complaints and warnings have been filed against them.
These accounts could be run by possible stalkers and child predators. And the minimum age to create an account is 13 years old. This is a low age compared to other popular content-sharing apps.
TikTok’s whole premise is video creating and sharing. Unlike Snapchat, these videos do not disappear after 24 hours. And TikTok has over 500 million monthly active users.
The app relies on content from children and teens, who make up a majority of the users and content creators.
While adults understand that we need to look out for our online safety, children as young as 13 might not comprehend the idea that there could be people on TikTok watching their singing and dancing videos inappropriately.
For example, an investigation by BBC News in the UK found that children were receiving inappropriate, sexually explicit messages and that the platform was full of bullying. The Information Commissioner’s Office in the UK is now investigating the video sharing app, according to The Guardian.
“Like any social media platform that has a direct message or commenting feature, there’s always the possibility that your child could be chatting with anyone, including strangers,” said Titania Jordan, chief parenting officer of parental-control app Bark.
According to BBC News, even though most of the sexually explicit comments disappear within 24 hours after being reported, most of the users who posted the comments are not removed from the app.
“Even if you set your own account to private, you may still be exposed to sexual or violent content posted to the public feed,” Jordan said. “Ranging from overtly sexual TikToks to physically dangerous stunts that kids may want to recreate, to overtly racist and discriminatory commentary, there is a wide range of concerning content on the platform.”
The app recently launched a new set of parental controls settings in the UK, following the investigations into their app. The new setting, called “Family Safety Mode,” allows parents to be able to manage their child’s screen time, limit viewable content and limit or even shut off the messaging feature on the app.
If you can’t access the new “Family Safety Mode”, I at a minimum advise that you make your child’s TikTok account private. Common Sense Media advises parents to make sure to turn on all privacy settings for accounts kids are using, so only people you know can interact with their videos or messages on the app. Parents should also teach their children about the possible effects that posting their personal information can have in the long run.
