Tag: stress

Helping your kids cope with quarantine emotions

pic of Megan D
By Megan Donny

Now that America is beginning to open back up, I find myself feeling upset about everything I missed out on because of the pandemic and anxious about the future. 

Unfortunately, I’m not the only one feeling this way. The outbreak of the Coronavirus has created a lot of anxiety in not only adults but children and teenagers as well. 

This can be a confusing and stressful time, especially for children and teenagers. 

All of the stress and memories of the things they are missing out on can cause them to feel depressed or more aggravated than they usually are. 

As a parent of a child or teenager, you’ve probably experienced some of the backlashes from your kids these emotions are creating. When children are angry or upset, many times they express that anger by yelling, being rude or acting out physically by slamming doors. 

According to clinical psychologist Sherry Kelly, many teenagers who are usually mild-mannered are acting out because they are feeling unusually trapped with no control over their lives anymore. 

While nobody can change what is currently happening with the pandemic, there are ways to help your kids process and control their emotions during this time. 

Four Strategies for Coping During These Times

One way, according to Kelly, is to encourage them to focus on the things they can control, rather than the things they can’t control. She recommends helping kids come up with two lists; one of the things they have control over and one for the things they don’t. You can then help your kids focus on the things on one list, and avoid thoughts about the other. 

Many kids are feeling especially isolated from their friends and other family members they may not live with. I know I personally have felt very lonely during the stay at home order and quarantine. It’s not a surprise that kids are feeling this way. To keep your children engaged with their family and friends, encourage them to Skype or play online games with them as a way to connect. 

Keeping an everyday routine for your kids is another way to help prevent negative emotions associated with the pandemic. By creating a new routine for your kids, it will help them feel less anxious about all of the uncertainty they may be experiencing.  

Make sure you also acknowledge your children’s feelings. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and to express any of their worries they may have. Children are likely to feel secure during times like this if they know their parent has acknowledged their feelings and is there to support them.

We know you’re going through a tough time, parents. Hang in there. And remember what Dr. Lauber always says, “Parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever love!”

Resources:

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2020-03-ways-kids-happy-home-self-quarantine.html

https://www.today.com/health/quarantine-tips-help-your-kids-stay-physically-mentally-fit-t180028

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/04/23/even-mellowest-teens-are-raging-against-quarantine-heres-how-help-them-cope/

Safeguarding ADHD Youth Against Depression in the Age of COVID

Do You Need a Family Game Night?

by Morgan Rihn

Family life is chaotic.

School events. Sports. Concerts. Church. Socializing.

Lots to do. It can seem pretty stressful sometimes. You’re running them around. Maybe you’re feeling you don’t have any real quality time with them.

So, have you considered a family game night?

My Family Game Nights

I grew up in a very rural area.  Hardly any neighbors. This meant no other kids close by I could play with. So my family and I ended up pretty close.

When we weren’t running around for school functions and sports, we would sometimes have family game night. Turns out, these were my favorite nights. Dad might teach us how to play poker or other card games. Maybe we’d break out an old board game like “The Game of Life”. Sometimes we’d play Wii sports games or Xbox Kinect games. If you don’t know, these are games where you actually get up off the couch and pretend to play ping pong or throw a bowling ball. We were very competitive, but playing these games was always fun. And it created a bond between us that I think will last forever.

Benefits of Family Game Night

Others have talked about the benefits of a family game night. This article at Www.cbc.ca talks about family game night can teach good sportsmanship.  No one really stays mad at a family for every long, and Mom and Dad are always there to role model how to be a good loser. You also learn how to take turns and follow rules. Sometimes you get to practice an actual skill. 

The article also says you can work on your communication skills, and perhaps even negotiation skills. You should see the wheeling and dealing we do playing Monopoly. And of, some games require cooperation and teamwork.

I think all of these are important to learn at a young age. You’ll use them over and over and family game night was one of the most enjoyable time I had while building stronger relationships with my family.

Family Game Night Ideas

If you’re stuck on what kind of games to play, here’s a brief list from Www.today.com. It includes classic boards games al the way to video games. Some of them are actually quite recent. Some of their picks include:

  • Trouble
  • Clue
  • Candyland
  • Operation
  • The Game of Life
  • Telestrations
  • What Do You Meme?

I also recommend the “get off the couch” video games that come with PlayStation, Xbox, or Wii. Coommonsensemedia.org has a list of family video games and includes things like “Family Game Night: The Game Show”, “Hidden Folks”, “Trivial Pursuit”, “Wii Sports”, “Disneyland Adventures”, “Just Dance”, “Guitar Hero”, and many more.

Lastly, if you’re looking for more active games, and ones that you may be able to conjure up from items laying around the house, consider “Minute To Win It Games”. This was a popular TV show, but now refers to a while category of games that are fun and can be completed in a minute or less. A quick Google search can provide you with a list of “Minute To Win It Games” with instructions and videos. Of course, don’t forget the old classics “Twister”, “Nerf Gun Battles” and “Legos”.

I think you’ll enjoy family game night. Give a few tries, however. If you haven’t done it before, it will take some experimentation to figure out your own “house rules”. You’ll see what I mean.  Enjoy!

Some useful links:

https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/family_game_night_is_more_than_just_fun

https://www.today.com/home/game-ideas-kids-adults-teens-family-game-night-t118566

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/family-video-games

Best Game Ideas from Chaos and Clutter

Is a busy kid a happy kid? Studies say maybe not.
Stress impacts your tween, too. Help them through it with these tips.

Stress impacts your tween, too. Help them through it with these tips.

By Katie Mest

Everyone experiences stress, and each person deals with it in his or her own way. But does your tween know how to handle the stresses of life?

Stress is how the body responds to outside factors. This can be any kind of decision your body has to make.

We often think of stress as the way we feel when our boss hands us a large number of tasks to get done in a short period of time, or when we have to get our house cleaned before guests arrive. It’s overwhelming, frustrating, and overall exhausting.

So how does your tween deal with the stress in their lives?

Homework. Tests. Maintaining relationships. Any kind of pressures.

They feel it, too. So it’s important to talk with your tween to make sure they have healthy coping mechanisms for tough times.

Here are some ways to help your tween manage stress.

Understand how their bodies react to stress.

This could be increased heart rate, inability to focus, difficulty sleeping, etc. These factors can be extremely counterproductive to dealing with whatever is causing the stress in the first place. Knowing the signs of stress on the body ahead of time can help them process the situation.

Help them know what is in their control and what isn’t.

 Putting off that paper until the last minute will only lead to a stressful night, but planning to get it done ahead of the due date will provide time to go over it again and not worry. Free time is necessary to relax so the body can deal with conflict when it arises. If your tween can control what’s in their schedule, evaluate with them whether they are taking on more activities than they can handle.

Practice positive talk.

Stress can lead to negative self-talk, such as talking down to oneself and telling yourself you aren’t good enough. It leads to convincing yourself you aren’t capable of finishing it and can hinder your productivity for a decent amount of time. If this seems like a lot for an adult, think of how it is for a tween.

Find a relaxing activity.

One thing I’ve learned from my mom is that exercising and getting fresh air helps me get out of my head and get back to rational thinking. When I would get overwhelmed with work or overthink a situation, she would go on a walk around the block with me and talk things out. I could get out of my room and into a new environment, and it always left me in a better state of mind to take on my problem. You could try activities like exercising, meditation, listening to music, stepping away from the cause of stress for a little, taking deep breaths, etc.

One thing to remember is that the biggest way your tween learns how to handle difficult situations is by watching you.

So what do you do? Curse at it and yell? Or problem solve in a calm manner?

For more information on managing stress, visit the National Institute of Mental Health and CincinnatiChildrens.org.

Links to related content:

The Top 3 Viral Challenges from the Past Year
Is a busy kid a happy kid? Studies say maybe not.

Finding Midfield When Parenting Student Athletes

  By Seth Woolcock

You’ve heard that parents live vicariously through their children. Sports is no exception.

If you haven’t yet been on the sidelines, watching your kid play, maybe you haven’t seen the parent obsessed with their child’s performance. Yelling negative comments at their kid, the coaching staff and even the referee. It’s why a lot of kids’ sports leagues have put in new rules.

But their are parents at the other end of the spectrum, also. Maybe their kid is serious about sports, but when it comes game time, they look up and no one is there.  Their teammates have both of their parents, plus two sets of grandparents, a couple of aunts and uncles, and even a few cousins. But they don’t see anyone cheering them on.

These are the kids that get a ride home from practices and games. Their  parents were “just too busy” to come pick them up.

That was me. In high school I lettered in varsity wrestling and soccer every year since I was a freshman. The amount of times I had my parents supporting me at my matches and games was far smaller than the times I didn’t have anyone there.

While nobody wants that over-involved parent, screaming in their face after every bad play, also, nobody wants to be the kid never hearing a cheer from the crowd.

So where is the happy medium? How do you help your child feel good about themselves and have a positive experience with athletics? Here are my thoughts.

Be there to support, but not to coach

First, a parent should be there to be a child’s number one fan, win or lose. But unless they are actually on the staff, they should leave the coaching to the coaches. If you’re seeing your child give 100 percent, that should be the most important thing to you.

Sure, who doesn’t want their kid to be successful in everything they do. Athletics are probably no exception.

But, when wins and losses become the only thing you focus on, it could become the only thing your child focuses on as well. Sports are something that can teach kids valuable lessons from a young age such as not being afraid to put themselves out there, losing graciously, perseverance and creating a good work ethic. But sports shouldn’t be the number one thing in their lives. Nor yours.

Being there

Everyone understands that parents today are busy. And sometimes it’s easier to ask someone else to give your kid a lift home from practice. But with that being said, even if you can’t be there every time physically, it’s important to be there for them emotionally.

Ask them how practice was and what they learned. Ask them what they’re goals are and how they think they can work to accomplish them. Asking questions and being involved with their athletics is an easy way to open up a good line of communication, which may be helpful if more serious circumstances ever come up. But it is a delicate balance of asking questions, having good conversations, and carrying it too far. And resist the urge to “coach” even off the field – at home.

Make sure they’re taken care of physically

While it’s always important to make sure your kid is healthy, i’s even more crucial that your athlete is getting the proper nutrition. For more information on properly feeding your child athlete, head over to KidsHealth.org.  I also strongly recommend family dinners.  See our post about that right here.

Aside from food, make sure if any injuries happen they are treated properly. Today, the second leading cause of emergency visits in the U.S. is sports injuries. According to Nationwide Children’s Hospital Sports Medicine, over three million youth are seen in hospital emergency rooms for sports-related injuries and another five million are seen by their primary care physician.

If you’re child does get injured, just remember R.I.C.E.: Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation. For more on RICE, visit nationwidechildrens.org.

By the way, according to ESPN , the second leading cause for boys and third leading cause for girl to quit a sport is because of injury. Some injuries are preventable. Make sure you’re doing your part.

Make athletics fun for your child

It’s pretty widely known that an athlete can give their peak performance when they are having fun at a competition.  When your child begins to not enjoy going to practice or competing anymore, it may be the beginning of a burnout. If this happens, try to find the root of the problem. Is it the pressure, the coaching or just plain exhaustion? Something else?

Find the Midfield

Your child benefits a great deal from athletics. It helps them stay physically fit. It gives them a sense of belonging and team camaraderie, and maybe even a few life long friends. But you’ve got to set the tone. Avoid the extremes of not caring at all and caring too much.

And enjoy it all. These are the good times.